Every single year I, and many others, find ourselves debating on what major goals we want to accomplish, and every year are disappointed for not accomplishing those, even if hastily made.
This year, I hope many will join me in discarding the list of books we’ll definitely read, gym memberships we’ll actually use, and clothes we will wear this year. I have found goals are more likely accomplished if done without the idea that a habit will follow along with it. So let's begin.
1. Make a list of things you like to do or forgot you like to do.
This one may seem simple, but it has saved many spells of boredom and feelings of being lazy over time. Somehow it always seems like you're too busy to do the things you want to do, but when you have time? N-O-T-H-I-N-G to do. While I may enjoy my times of relaxation, I feel restless to get things done after a big project or a stressful presentation. Having a list on paper or your phone can be very helpful to make yourself remember that you wanted to sew that dress to fit better, or get out the rollerskates and go for a roll.
2. Do activities by yourself.
There is so much pressure these days to have a significant or a perfect group of single friends, and we need to bring back a genuinely freeing mindset: It is perfectly okay to take trips, go out to eat, or do any activity by yourself. After having several friends get into relationships, I found myself having plans canceled and spending every night in. While I am not usually opposed to a good night in watching tv and making dinner, these were days in which I had readily made the decision to go out. After many late trips to the store for dinner and taking off the outfits I had planned, I decided to go out and do those activities on my own.
Starting small is the best advice I can give. While it may not seem like it for the confident bunch— it causes a lot of people anxiety to eat at a restaurant by themselves…so try to take baby steps. Go to a coffee shop you haven't tried, try a new drink, sit down for 10 minutes, and do something while you are sitting…hey maybe even write down that list! Soon it will feel normal and easy to go anywhere and be by yourself…And it makes you look and feel like the main character.
3. Figure out who you are, in small ways.
Sometimes it feels like I have no idea what I am doing with my life and who I actually am…I know, first world problem, but hear me out. I have had depression for many years now, and it has been a struggle to get out of my own head sometimes. It can help me to know that I am a real person and that I can enjoy things in life.
Find those things that make it worth it in life, figure out your favorite color, your favorite restaurant, or taste test all of a brand and see which flavor profile you want to incorporate into your next meal. This can be a simple thing that gives a little bit of tradition and can help make you feel like life has something to offer you.
4. Create a Bad Day help kit.
As I mentioned above, I have had depression for years. It has been very difficult over the years to be able to get out of a spell or make myself feel back to normal again. It can sometimes take days or weeks to get me on track. Finding things that you know you enjoy can help take the edge off of one of these times.
- A movie that you can see any day.
- A friend that you feel comfortable talking to.
- A hiking path that you saved until a bad day hit.
- A sweet treat at a bakery.
Having some things you're excited to do until you have a bad day is not pessimistic, it’s realistic. There are going to be those days that don't go as planned, and it's good to have something to look forward to when they hit.
For the record, I am not licensed to give advice on depression or anything diagnosed, this is based on personal experience.
5. Make a vision board.
This one sounds very similar to a resolution, but it really isn't. There isn't a habit you have to conquer or a goal you have to reach, there is only the good intention that you will get things done. I have created a vision board for the past 6 years, and unlike resolutions, I have never gotten upset that something glued upon it has not been achieved. This can happen for several different reasons, including a change in taste. I have put many styles of architecture and clothing and found that by the end of the year, it did not suit what I liked anymore, and I never became disappointed in it because I saw it every day, it was always there, just not realized.
It will surprise you how many things you will see accomplished at the end of the year. Putting it somewhere you see it every day will subconsciously train your brain to look for those things/opportunities and create a goal-completing mentality of getting those things. Having hope for the year is always a good thing, and an activity that involves some friends and music or by yourself(wink wink) with some tv in the background is always an added bonus to any new year.
Have fun with the new year, and please be kind to yourself today.
-Al
12/17/2020
